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as i walked to work one day
i saw a boy and a car crossing corners
they both had their eyes on their phones
neither of them seemed to notice
and then it happened so fast
i estimated his size
the car would hit him right in the chest
where as for me it'd only meet at my thighs
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i didnt scream i just ran to him
and pushed him off to the side
i heard a thump and then the sound of air
and brakes, at least the driver tried
as i sat up i didnt call for help
though i saw i was losing blood
the little kid just ran up to me and said
holy shit, oh my god, what the fuck
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i tried to walk but i just stumbled off
called into work and said i was not ok
crawled into bed and drifted in and out
i stayed at home alone a few more days
my first day out as i headed back to work
there was a trail telling me now where to go
its all still there frozen now for the winter
i walked over my pool of blood in the snow
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strange clouds fragments of glory
linger in thee divine
the breath of where you came from
the taste of suppers wine
the breath of where you came from
breath soaked in wine
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naughty deathless cruel gods
honey sweet their tongue
raised beyond just stories
they told when they were young
raised beyond just stories
they told when they were young
black winged nights rose up
and death whistled a song
heavens shaking and groaning something went wrong
that is sweet and strange
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eight brief tunes of lovers
slip away and steal the night
sing of death and murder
the blood that stole the life
sing of death and murder
go out and steal the night
black winged nights rose up
and death whistled a song
heavens shaking and groaning something went wrong
that is sweet and strange
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busy now as our days are
your deserving of more than a glance
deserving of more than i could ever give
to you, so i'll take you by the hands
and tell you i love you darling
while looking straight into your eyes
and flirt with you
till i'm blue in the face
from the dark of the night
to the light of sunrise
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there's a modern idea of romance
the love story on tv
the kiss in the rain
inherently came
but did it live up to what before you had seen
the way that i asked you to marry
or held you when the needle was drawn
we have aged since back then
and we've embraced what happened
and if our love is true
it'll be here when we're gone
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4. |
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wandering from word to sound
wondering if its too loud
and why headphones with glasses hurt
am i just nice or do i flirt
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the kids are sleeping sound
kissed my wife goodnight she's upstairs now
this house has got a hum
when nobodys speaking and the stairs are not creaking
i'm left to my own obscure devices
i see light beyond flickering eyelids
its a quarter now past one
i should go to sleep i'm not having fun
i am breathing heavly
but as i head for the stairs i think about my grey hairs
and figure how much longer do i have really
sleep can wait its much too early
shaking from coffee i thought
the tolerence that i've built up
would not affect me i was wrong
after half a pot now it is gone
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the kids are sleeping sound
kissed my wife goodnight she's upstairs now
this house has got a hum
when nobodys speaking and the stairs are not creaking
i'm left to my own obscure devices
i see light beyond flickering eyelids
its a quarter now past three
i should be now fast asleep
instead of taking pills
and before things get to blurry i'm writing words in a hurry
i hope i find them in the morning
and see if they are worth recording
but it might not all make much sense
scrape paper and scribbled pen
scribbled brain from staying up
in the morning i'll be fucked
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5. |
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the first time at goodspirit
you woke up every night
to get you back down
i'd hold you to my chest so tight
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and rock you back and forth
and back to sleep you would go
but now that your older
you dont wake up anymore
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as much as i like sleeping
until morning gets bright
i do miss holding you
in the middle of the night
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6. |
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joseph matthew i confide
my fears as a man that i try and hide
i can confess but for advise i cannot ask
because you cannot answer back
but i've tried, yes i've tried lord knows how
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wore your tie to my wedding as well as your shoes
and every winter your jacket too
on the wall up the stairs
i've got your picture
i can show my kids who you were
and i will, yes i will lord knows how
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a bottle of sask pool whisky
on my fridge every night i see
i will continue remembering
joseph matthew and me
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7. |
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no more dreams i cannot sleep in the morning
i think too much so i'm staying up at night
and claws are dug in me so i'm not ignoring
baby face and baby eyes so bright so bright
kiddo anne danger i want the best for you
you are english now and the newborn will be too
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i cant leave not a thing alone on the counter
they'll rip it down and kick it round the floor
and mom will say she picked it up last hour
so honey i am not picking it up no more no more
so darling i will kiss you and change the subject quick
and tell you how i am adoring of your lips
and the bottom ring on the them
so adoring of your lips
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8. |
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i've got an older heart than yours
with sights of mountains and shores
and memories of your arms round my chest
and fingertips slowly undoing my vest
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when i swooned over you
tangled hair i'd undo
i slept over at first
early love and dirty flirts
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i'm left without any regret
from the nights that i lived in your bed
from the nights that we stayed out too late
from the moment supper turned into dates
if you find sometime your looking behind
to reminise, it seems that all you can find
is a fight or an instance where i
let you down, left you hurt, made you cry
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if you look for a change
where our story could be rearranged
dont wander for too long without me
because i still think that you are lovely
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9. |
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10. |
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haunted by my horrible memories
tax returns and bank accounts are cleaned
i've got these black eyes just to keep in style
grow thinner, suffer, weep and finally die
so i need you, splendid girl for heaven sakes
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i've never had a changing heart before
yours if the only love that i have ever known
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gaining a poor health, boredom and fatigue
sometimes i drift help is what i need
i hardly ever seem to leave my bed
ready to think of death again
so i need you, splendid girl for heaven sakes
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should i kill the hounds that are howling
cut them to pieces they'll stop haunting me
i have been void of any emotion
lately been going through the motions
so i need you, splendid girl for heaven sakes
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11. |
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how do you deal with growth
i am older now and so
i think about it more and more
than i should
but when things i like get tossed
i am outraged at the loss
i think about it more and more
than i should, i'd stop if i could
not to much news on how they've been
though i still find them fascinating
now i dont believe in the cbc
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new waves of notes
reverb soaked throats
where does an old band now go
when its unwanted
without covers and cash
without basements to crash
where does an old band now go
when the new one is wanted
and the old is unwanted
not to much news on how they've been
though i still find them fascinating
now i dont believe in the cbc
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12. |
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we're searching out for mother for brother baby boy
the lake has overflowed and protesters are annoyed
now who are all these people i've never seen before
its like we're lost together circling the shore
my daughters on my shoulders she is manning her post
on the lookout for them from prairies to the coast
but all she sees are strangers she tells me when i ask
if she sees our loved ones so we start heading back
oh my god this week has been
filled with levels of rain that i've never seen
oh my god this week has been
a crazy one i think we'll soon all be swimming
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we left the crowd and now just see strangers one by one
nods hello and small talk about what the rain has done
we try to be polite but by the third block we're done
we turn our lazy walk we're in into a full on run
a block or two away from our home we stop to rest
we dont run very often and we're both out of breath
but now we see our house there's only a few more steps
and mom and baby boy are sitting on the front steps
oh my god this week has been
filled with levels of rain that i've never seen
oh my god this week has been
a crazy one i think we'll soon all be swimming
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a block or two away from our home we stop to rest
we dont run very often and we're both out of breath
but now we see our house there's only a few more steps
and mom and baby boy are sitting on the front steps
oh this rain that i have never seen
i think we'll soon all be swimming
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13. |
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you took off your clothes and curled up to me
and we fell asleep in eachothers arms
i shook you out of your nightmare
you seemed so scared when you woke up
in a cold sweat, crying please dont leave
i've had a bad bream and i am scared
so i calmed you back down, tickled your toes
you said please just hold me
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released December 30, 2014
art: ANDREA SICSIK
